Dealing with the Ex

Am I responsible for informing the women who traipse in and out of my ex's life about his "history" of using women for their money and whatever else he can get out of them? 

When we first split, I took it upon myself to inform the new girlfriend of "everything".  She chose to not believe me.  Well, as of about 3 weeks ago, she's now telling me that she wishes she had listened.  He is telling me that SHE is crazy and stalking him - calling, texting, dropping in unannounced, etc., etc.  I told him yesterday, "I told you there would come a day when you'd thank me for not signing the divorce papers when you first sent them to me, and TODAY is that day."  lol

In the beginning, I went throught the entire gamut of emotions:  sadness, anger, resentment, jealousy - you name it, I felt it.  Now, I'm thankful he left - he did me an enormous favor.  The hardest part of it all is that we have a daughter together, and I'm having a tough time allowing her to go anywhere with him.  #1 - I don't trust him to watch after her, feed her, make her take a shower, etc., as she needs to; #2 - I don't think it's right to parade a bevy of new people through a child's life, allow her to become attached to them, then dump them and move on to the next.  It's not fair to our daughter to do that to her.  She is seeing that her father views people as "disposable" and has no confidence in his love for her. 

He proves to her almost daily that she's an "after-thought" in his life.  He picks her up for a couple of hours IF it fits in with his schedule.  I truly wish he'd just move away and only see her once or twice a year.  I know it would hurt her, but at least his being far away would be a legitimate reason for him to not see her very often and wouldn't hurt as much as knowing he's just up the road and doesn't choose to see her.  As it is, he lives about 7 miles from us, and still only sees her about once every 2 weeks for a couple of hours.  I have stopped the weekday visits because it interferes with her schedule and concentration at school.  Since I've done that, her grades have gone from D's and F's to A's and B's, so, you can't convince me it wasn't the right choice.

I understand that the newest beauty in his life is a really nice woman.  Hardworking, kind, and just a good person all the way around.  I kinda feel bad not letting her know to tread cautiously in one breath, but in the other, it's not my business to "save the world."  So, I'm going to hope that maybe she's a pretty astute woman and will see through the bulls**t.  He just has a way of appealing to a woman's sympathetic nature:  he poor-mouths, talks about how the whole world is against him... yada.. yada... yada...   He can't "catch" a woman using honesty, so he lies through his teeth to get what he wants.  I told him yesterday, "Give a woman a chance and tell her, "Look, all I want is sex and someone to have dinner with every now and then," instead of declaring undying love every time.  A woman would rather have the choice based on honesty, than lies.  But, that's not his style.  I have learned the hard way that if the man's lips are moving, he's lying. 

The only thing good that came of our union is our daughter.  Turns out, everything else was pretty much a lie.  Ten years of lies and deceit.  That's a hard pill to swallow for anyone.  BUT, I can't regret it because of our little girl.  She's the best thing that I ever did with my life.  And I won't ever be sorry for that.  I tell him all the time that she's the best thing HE ever did with his life, too.  And that's the god's-honest truth.

Life is good for me now.  I am happy, I am sharing my life with the most amazing man I've ever known.  He is honest, loving, caring, has strength of character, integrity, and his word MEANS something.  (Heck, I've never had that in my life, so it's taken some adjusting.) lol   This is the first time I can remember in my life having a genuine respect and admiration for a man.  He is true.  And he loves me just because I am me.  And that is a feeling that is mutual.  He is just Jerry - down to earth, take him as he is, and no bullsh*t allowed.  He has breathed life into my soul - healed all the hurts with his love and the most wonderful hugs you could ever imagine.  This is where destiny meant for me to be.  The path here was paved with lots of trials and tribulations.  But ya know what?  I'd travel that very same path again if I knew it would lead me to him. 

I admit to some "scars and bruises" from my marriage to "Fever."  One doesn't spend 10 years of their life with someone and not have some baggage left over.  But all the pain is gone.  Now it's just a feeling of, "How could I have wasted SO much time with someone like THAT?"  I'm more angry with myself than anyone else.  But, I guess it took all that to get me to all this.  :)   And "This" is pretty damned amazing.

Okay - that's my rant for the day.  Have a wonderful Wednesday!

Blessed be!
Me