Am I responsible for informing the women who traipse in and out of my ex's life about his "history" of using women for their money and whatever else he can get out of them?
When we first split, I took it upon myself to inform the new girlfriend of "everything". She chose to not believe me. Well, as of about 3 weeks ago, she's now telling me that she wishes she had listened. He is telling me that SHE is crazy and stalking him - calling, texting, dropping in unannounced, etc., etc. I told him yesterday, "I told you there would come a day when you'd thank me for not signing the divorce papers when you first sent them to me, and TODAY is that day." lol
In the beginning, I went throught the entire gamut of emotions: sadness, anger, resentment, jealousy - you name it, I felt it. Now, I'm thankful he left - he did me an enormous favor. The hardest part of it all is that we have a daughter together, and I'm having a tough time allowing her to go anywhere with him. #1 - I don't trust him to watch after her, feed her, make her take a shower, etc., as she needs to; #2 - I don't think it's right to parade a bevy of new people through a child's life, allow her to become attached to them, then dump them and move on to the next. It's not fair to our daughter to do that to her. She is seeing that her father views people as "disposable" and has no confidence in his love for her.
He proves to her almost daily that she's an "after-thought" in his life. He picks her up for a couple of hours IF it fits in with his schedule. I truly wish he'd just move away and only see her once or twice a year. I know it would hurt her, but at least his being far away would be a legitimate reason for him to not see her very often and wouldn't hurt as much as knowing he's just up the road and doesn't choose to see her. As it is, he lives about 7 miles from us, and still only sees her about once every 2 weeks for a couple of hours. I have stopped the weekday visits because it interferes with her schedule and concentration at school. Since I've done that, her grades have gone from D's and F's to A's and B's, so, you can't convince me it wasn't the right choice.
I understand that the newest beauty in his life is a really nice woman. Hardworking, kind, and just a good person all the way around. I kinda feel bad not letting her know to tread cautiously in one breath, but in the other, it's not my business to "save the world." So, I'm going to hope that maybe she's a pretty astute woman and will see through the bulls**t. He just has a way of appealing to a woman's sympathetic nature: he poor-mouths, talks about how the whole world is against him... yada.. yada... yada... He can't "catch" a woman using honesty, so he lies through his teeth to get what he wants. I told him yesterday, "Give a woman a chance and tell her, "Look, all I want is sex and someone to have dinner with every now and then," instead of declaring undying love every time. A woman would rather have the choice based on honesty, than lies. But, that's not his style. I have learned the hard way that if the man's lips are moving, he's lying.
The only thing good that came of our union is our daughter. Turns out, everything else was pretty much a lie. Ten years of lies and deceit. That's a hard pill to swallow for anyone. BUT, I can't regret it because of our little girl. She's the best thing that I ever did with my life. And I won't ever be sorry for that. I tell him all the time that she's the best thing HE ever did with his life, too. And that's the god's-honest truth.
Life is good for me now. I am happy, I am sharing my life with the most amazing man I've ever known. He is honest, loving, caring, has strength of character, integrity, and his word MEANS something. (Heck, I've never had that in my life, so it's taken some adjusting.) lol This is the first time I can remember in my life having a genuine respect and admiration for a man. He is true. And he loves me just because I am me. And that is a feeling that is mutual. He is just Jerry - down to earth, take him as he is, and no bullsh*t allowed. He has breathed life into my soul - healed all the hurts with his love and the most wonderful hugs you could ever imagine. This is where destiny meant for me to be. The path here was paved with lots of trials and tribulations. But ya know what? I'd travel that very same path again if I knew it would lead me to him.
I admit to some "scars and bruises" from my marriage to "Fever." One doesn't spend 10 years of their life with someone and not have some baggage left over. But all the pain is gone. Now it's just a feeling of, "How could I have wasted SO much time with someone like THAT?" I'm more angry with myself than anyone else. But, I guess it took all that to get me to all this. :) And "This" is pretty damned amazing.
Okay - that's my rant for the day. Have a wonderful Wednesday!
Blessed be!
Me
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
Terrorism and Such
At the risk of stirring up a huge pot of doo-doo, I am embarking on a rant about the above-referenced subjects.
I am sitting her at 3:38 a.m., Monday morning, half-listening to World News on ABC. The government has just issued a warning to Americans travelling in Europe about suspected Al Quaida terrorist activity. Now, I'm just a simple woman from the southern part of the USA, but I can't for the life of me understand why these people want to hurt people who are complete strangers to them. If they want to hurt someone, go after our "wonderful" politicians who stir up all this garbage. I've always thought that if our politicians had to go to war, there would NEVER be one. But they sit up there in their bright, shiny offices on The Hill and stir this huge pot of s**t and then send our young people to do their fighting for them after they've pissed off the entire world. And this makes sense HOW?
How many of these politicians have children that are in our armed forces? Do they gladly ship their sons & daughters to "the Sandbox" with a hug and kiss and say, "Kill one for Daddy"? I don't think so. They've got their children in college, driving fancy cars, partying and living the good life, while the average family sends their beloved children over there - never knowing if they'll come back in a box or not. Or worse - physically & psychologically damaged for the rest of their lives.
And we don't only have to worry about travelling to Europe, but Mexico is crazy as well now because the drug lords have taken over. I say make drugs legal - if the idiots want to smoke pot and snort coke, or whatever, let 'em. Eventually, they will die, and we'll have some "cleansing" of sorts in their deaths. Problem solved. (Of course, if they want to use, I think they should be sterilized so they can't bring any children into their messed up lives.)
My simple little brain cannot understand all this stuff. I am a quiet, peaceful person who just wants to live their life. I want to travel to Europe and experience the history of places that are pretty much ancient. What I don't understand is that by doing harm to random "nobodies" can make a difference in ANYONE'S war. I just want to be left alone to see the things in the world that should be seen and experienced and not have to fear for my life for having the experience.
I am not a religous person. I do, however, believe in a Higher Power - by whatever name you want to call Him/Her/It. I don't believe that there is any one religion that is the "right" religion. Yet, people kill in the name of their God every single day. Why? I just don't get it. Worship in peace, for goodness' sake. Believe whatever you feel is right in your heart, but do no harm to anyone. I don't get why wars are started in the name of God/Allah/Buddah/Mohammed or whoever.
These are the things, I supposed, that will forever remain a mystery to me. I will never understand "human nature," I guess. World politics and politicians suck. Period. It's not just America, but ALL of them. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."
I am sitting her at 3:38 a.m., Monday morning, half-listening to World News on ABC. The government has just issued a warning to Americans travelling in Europe about suspected Al Quaida terrorist activity. Now, I'm just a simple woman from the southern part of the USA, but I can't for the life of me understand why these people want to hurt people who are complete strangers to them. If they want to hurt someone, go after our "wonderful" politicians who stir up all this garbage. I've always thought that if our politicians had to go to war, there would NEVER be one. But they sit up there in their bright, shiny offices on The Hill and stir this huge pot of s**t and then send our young people to do their fighting for them after they've pissed off the entire world. And this makes sense HOW?
How many of these politicians have children that are in our armed forces? Do they gladly ship their sons & daughters to "the Sandbox" with a hug and kiss and say, "Kill one for Daddy"? I don't think so. They've got their children in college, driving fancy cars, partying and living the good life, while the average family sends their beloved children over there - never knowing if they'll come back in a box or not. Or worse - physically & psychologically damaged for the rest of their lives.
And we don't only have to worry about travelling to Europe, but Mexico is crazy as well now because the drug lords have taken over. I say make drugs legal - if the idiots want to smoke pot and snort coke, or whatever, let 'em. Eventually, they will die, and we'll have some "cleansing" of sorts in their deaths. Problem solved. (Of course, if they want to use, I think they should be sterilized so they can't bring any children into their messed up lives.)
My simple little brain cannot understand all this stuff. I am a quiet, peaceful person who just wants to live their life. I want to travel to Europe and experience the history of places that are pretty much ancient. What I don't understand is that by doing harm to random "nobodies" can make a difference in ANYONE'S war. I just want to be left alone to see the things in the world that should be seen and experienced and not have to fear for my life for having the experience.
I am not a religous person. I do, however, believe in a Higher Power - by whatever name you want to call Him/Her/It. I don't believe that there is any one religion that is the "right" religion. Yet, people kill in the name of their God every single day. Why? I just don't get it. Worship in peace, for goodness' sake. Believe whatever you feel is right in your heart, but do no harm to anyone. I don't get why wars are started in the name of God/Allah/Buddah/Mohammed or whoever.
These are the things, I supposed, that will forever remain a mystery to me. I will never understand "human nature," I guess. World politics and politicians suck. Period. It's not just America, but ALL of them. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Our Adventures - October 2, 2010
Hey, ya'll! This weekend, Jerry & I celebrate one year of knowing each other. Since I was not on-call this weekend, we decided to take an "adventure" - and so headed out towards Apalachicola for a jaunt. To get there, we had to travel through the community of Callaway, then Tyndall AFB, Mexico Beach, Port St. Joe, and finally, Apalachicola. It's a GORGEOUS ride along the Gulf of Mexico. We did about 100 miles one-way on this trip, and just took our time, enjoyed the scenery, and chilled out.
I thought we'd stop and ramble around in Apalachicola, but Jerry had other plans. We just kept on going, and ended up near the town of Panacea, where we stopped at the foot of the Ocklochonee Bay bridge and ate at this wonderful restaurant called Angelo & Sons Seafood Restaurant. (Pix below.) Jerry & I just got a couple of appetizers to share, and Mags, of course, had the cheese burger. Jerry got the crab stuffed mushrooms, which were without a doubt THE BEST mushrooms I have ever tasted in my life. If you ever find yourself in Panacea, do yourself a favor and stop at Angelo's. You wont' regret it.
At the top temp today, it was about 81 degrees, and the sky was clear and beautifully blue - well, there WERE some puffy white clouds, but it just added to the beauty of the day. If Mag hadn't have wanted to go, we'd have taken the hotrod and rode with the top down, no doubt. I love the wind blowing in my face and the sunshine shining down on me. :)
Anyway, Jerry & I are celebrating one year of being together. We have had a wondeful year that has been spent getting to know each other, travelling, and just being a regular "real" family. I really wish I could better articulate to everyone how full my heart is these days. This past year has been filled with LOTS of love & laughter, and a happiness such as I have never in my life known before. Those of you who know me know that I've had some tough battles over the years - involved myself with people who I simply "settled" for, but who were not good for me nor good TO me. I've had to re-program my way of thinking in so many ways since finding Jerry. It's almost foreign to me to be treated with love & respect, and to be loved just because I "am." There is no pressure to try to be someone I'm not. He accepts me - chubby, no make-up, goofy, clumsy, etc. etc., and despite all my imperfections, he loves me with his whole heart. If you'd have asked me last September if I would ever love and/or trust again, I would've said, "No way, no how!!" Well, talk about having to eat my words. LOL
Anyway... I am rambling. I just wanted to express my happiness in words tonight. I am thankful to the Powers That Be for bringing Jerry & his son Royce into my & Maggie's lives. Life is WONDERFUL. I am overflowing. :)
Bright blessings to you & yours,
Julie
I thought we'd stop and ramble around in Apalachicola, but Jerry had other plans. We just kept on going, and ended up near the town of Panacea, where we stopped at the foot of the Ocklochonee Bay bridge and ate at this wonderful restaurant called Angelo & Sons Seafood Restaurant. (Pix below.) Jerry & I just got a couple of appetizers to share, and Mags, of course, had the cheese burger. Jerry got the crab stuffed mushrooms, which were without a doubt THE BEST mushrooms I have ever tasted in my life. If you ever find yourself in Panacea, do yourself a favor and stop at Angelo's. You wont' regret it.
At the top temp today, it was about 81 degrees, and the sky was clear and beautifully blue - well, there WERE some puffy white clouds, but it just added to the beauty of the day. If Mag hadn't have wanted to go, we'd have taken the hotrod and rode with the top down, no doubt. I love the wind blowing in my face and the sunshine shining down on me. :)
Anyway, Jerry & I are celebrating one year of being together. We have had a wondeful year that has been spent getting to know each other, travelling, and just being a regular "real" family. I really wish I could better articulate to everyone how full my heart is these days. This past year has been filled with LOTS of love & laughter, and a happiness such as I have never in my life known before. Those of you who know me know that I've had some tough battles over the years - involved myself with people who I simply "settled" for, but who were not good for me nor good TO me. I've had to re-program my way of thinking in so many ways since finding Jerry. It's almost foreign to me to be treated with love & respect, and to be loved just because I "am." There is no pressure to try to be someone I'm not. He accepts me - chubby, no make-up, goofy, clumsy, etc. etc., and despite all my imperfections, he loves me with his whole heart. If you'd have asked me last September if I would ever love and/or trust again, I would've said, "No way, no how!!" Well, talk about having to eat my words. LOL
Anyway... I am rambling. I just wanted to express my happiness in words tonight. I am thankful to the Powers That Be for bringing Jerry & his son Royce into my & Maggie's lives. Life is WONDERFUL. I am overflowing. :)
Bright blessings to you & yours,
Julie
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| Sitting down for a nice lunch. |
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| And we're off on our adventure. |
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| Hmm... sooooo much to choose from... think I'll have a cheeseburger! :) |
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| My honey & my hambone |
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| The view from where we sat at Angelo & Son's Seafood Restaurant, Panacea, FL |
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| Fried Crab Claws |
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| These were THE BEST stuffed mushrooms I have EVER tasted! |
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| Time to refuel - and Mags woke up from her snooze when we stopped. |
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| Welcome to Historical Apalachicola, Florida! |
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| Our son, Royce, getting ready to fly his giant-scale RC airplane - a Chief Aircraft Yak. |
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| Of we go... into the wild, blue yonder.... :) |
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