As my friends know, I work at a funeral home as an administrative assistant. (No, I don't have anything to do with the bodies - just their paperwork & memorial packages.) Anyway, we had a funeral that pretty much wrecked me yesterday.
Two nights after her high school graduation, a 16 year old girl took her own life because her boyfriend broke up with her. What made it even worse is that, at 16, she left behind a 2 year old daughter. There is something seriously wrong with this picture beyond the fact that a child is dead.
Let me address a number of things this whole tragedy has brought to my mind:
1.) HOW can a parent allow a 14 year old girl to hang out with boys years older than her? The alleged father is 20 years old, and allegedly molested this girl and got her pregnant during the incident. I don't understand. My child is 8, and I won't let her hang out with ANYONE without either me or her daddy nearby. I know, I know, it should be different when they're teenagers, but that's when they need the most guidance. That is NOT the time to slack up on being watchful. I'm afraid my daughter will probably be smothered because of my lack of trust in other people. But I'd rather be over-protective than not give a shit about her.
2.) HOW could this child's mother have allowed her to keep this baby when they already lived in squalor and the girl's mom (baby's grandma) doesn't care about the daughter she has, much less a new infant grandchild. If there are ANY teen mothers or pregnant teens out there reading this, PLEASE think long & hard about adoption. There are so many people who can't have babies who would be able to provide a loving, stable & safe home for your baby. Don't worry about stigmas attached to giving your baby away. If you know you cannot provide adequate housing, care, food, clothing, etc., for a child, you shouldn't (first of all) be having one, and secondly, trying to keep it. That sweet little baby deserves so much more than that.
3.) Here's a biggie for me for you teen girls: DO NOT BELIEVE ANYTHING a boy tells you about love & marriage & stuff. They are ONLY saying that to get the booty. Keep your self-respect intact and don't give in to their pleadings. They'll survive if you don't give it up. They'll just move on to some ol' sleaze who WILL give it up - thereby proving to YOU that they never really cared for you in the first place. (Been there, done that.)
4.) TEENAGE BOYS: Don't be playing these girls like that. You have no clue what your headgames can do to a girl. We all just want to be loved, and being of the female nature, we're just naturally wired that way. Look at what happened to this girl I'm writing about - some idiot boy told her everything a girl like her felt she needed/wanted to hear - then when he got what he wanted, walked away and didn't look back. And she was obviously devastated. WHAT in the hell gives ANYONE the right to jack with someone's head like that? I believe there is a special place in hell for people (boys/girls/men/women) who do that to other people. And I'm a firm believer that EVERYTHING you send out into the world will come back to you 3-fold, so be very, very careful of what you put out there.
I was making sure the Memorial Book in the chapel had everything in it before the service started, and as I turned around the walk out of the chapel, the girl's mother, grandmother, & 2 year old daughter walked in. I spoke to the little girl and brushed her hair out of her face with my hand, and she started craning her neck and standing up on her tip-toes to try to see into her mama's casket. I just lost it. I got out of there as quickly as I could - fighting tears the whole way. I got to my office, started fanning my face, telling myself, "It's okay, it's okay..." But ya know what? It's NOT okay. It's not okay that this BEAUTIFUL little 16 year old CHILD/MOTHER died because of the STUPIDITY of some jerk-off little pencil-dick bastard. And she was just ignorant to think it would make any difference in the world to him that she had died because of her "love" for him. He couldn't care less. WAKE UP GIRLS!!
I have VERY hard feelings towards this young lady's mother as well. WHY wasn't she parenting her child? She didn't act like she even cared that her daughter was dead or that she had left a toddler behind - and it was obvious she wasn't thrilled with the idea of raising this toddler. What possible future can this beautiful baby girl have? She didn't have a snowball's chance in hell from the moment of her conception.
And one final word: Girls, take it from someone who's BEEN in your shoes. Boys are a dime a dozen - if one breaks your heart, another one will be along shortly. Don't waste tears on someone who couldn't possibly care less about your feelings, your thoughts, or your needs. All he cares about is gettin' some & moving on to the next girl he can con into giving it up. It's all one big game to some of them - and it's YOUR life & your head he's screwing with. Be careful who you share your body, heart & soul with. Not all are worthy - very few (if any, actually), in your lifetime will truly be worthy. You get exactly what you allow into your life - be it love or whatever. And don't confuse "chemistry" with love. You'll learn the difference in the two eventually, but in the meantime, be vigilant & guard yourself against the "beasts who hunt." Those are the ones who aren't worth your time, your love, or your tears - and especially, not your dying for.
Blessed be my friends. Sorry this got so serious, but this really got to me and I had to "unleash the beast." :P
Love ya,
Jules
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Sunday, June 1, 2008
I'm IN LOVE!!!
Sis-in-Law became a new mother yesterday, May 31, 2008. I am now the proud parent of an absolutely GORGEOUS, sweet, four-legged baby - she's an English Cream Golden Retriever named ZOE. We adopted her yesterday from the Emerald Coast Golden Retriever Rescue ( www.ecgrr.com ) . The entire process from start to finish was smooth as silk. The volunteers come to your home and do an interview with the family to see if they can match them to one of the Goldies they have in foster care. We had already chosen the one we wanted from the list on their website, and lucky for us, the adoption that had been pending fell thru, and we were next on the list.
Anyway, all I can say is that we found an absolute angel right here on earth. She is so sweet-natured, and so laid back - she couldn't possibly fit in with our lazy butts any more than she does. She's got about 10-15 lbs. to lose, so she & I walk twice a day around the block. We'll work up to a mile in the a.m., and a mile in the evening, but right now, we're only hassling our way thru 1/4 mile each time. But we'll get it, and we'll BOTH be sexy & sleek before you know it. :-)
Anyway, all I can say is that we found an absolute angel right here on earth. She is so sweet-natured, and so laid back - she couldn't possibly fit in with our lazy butts any more than she does. She's got about 10-15 lbs. to lose, so she & I walk twice a day around the block. We'll work up to a mile in the a.m., and a mile in the evening, but right now, we're only hassling our way thru 1/4 mile each time. But we'll get it, and we'll BOTH be sexy & sleek before you know it. :-)
Monday, March 17, 2008
Hairdressers Having a Bad Day
The Magster & I went and got our hair cut this weekend at one of those "strip mall" chain beauty shops. I can't recall the name of it, but that is not important. I try to avoid these places as much as possible. I have been known to drive from Jackson, TN down to my hometown of Andalusia, Alabama JUST for a good haircut by my good friend, Ticia, and to avoid going to a "stranger."
Well, I start my new job today, and I knew I was in DESPERATE need of a haircut, and finances just did not permit the two and a half hour trek to Andalusia to see Ticia last Friday. So, I sucked it up and Mags & I went to this salon (a term I use loosely) by WalMart. If I'm going to risk a bad haircut, I don't want to pay a lot for it, ya know?
Anyway, we go in, they greet us (so far, so good), and have us sign in. We had barely gotten sat down when Maggie was called. The lady who called us was probably close to my age, fairly decent looking, but boy did she have a chip on her shoulder. She was obviously angry about something, and didn't do a very good job of hiding her feelings. Well, folks, I don't know about you, but I can't help but be a little nervous around a pissed off stranger with a pair of scissors in her hand. You know you're probably going to get a really shitty haircut from someone who really couldn't care less whether you know she's having a really bad day or not.
So, I did all I could to put her at ease. If you know me, I am a "people pleaser" kind of person, and I smile (even if I'm mad as hell), and I'll do all I can to keep those around me happy and comfortable. Maggie is trying to talk to her - and most people are engaged by Mag pretty quickly, but not this sour puss. She wasn't having any of it. She was sarcastic sounding in her answers to Maggie, very impatient acting, and just generally did NOT want to be there doing what she was doing.
Here is where I'm going with this story. If you happen to be one of these people who work at one of these types of establishments, PLEASE take some friendly advice.
1. If you don't want to be there, find another salon in which to work. It's not the clients fault that you're unhappy working there. Don't take your frustration out on them.
2. Smile and engage your client. Especially your women clients. We go to the beauty shop to make ourselves feel better. And it is your job to make us feel like we're beautiful (even if we look like crap). That's what we're paying you for. That is the profession YOU chose, so do it and keep the personal crap away from the salon.
3. I understand that it is hard as hell to work with a bunch of women - everyone's moody at one time or another, feelings get hurt, things get said - it's just not a pleasant prospect most of the time, I'm sure. Here again, if you don't like your co-workers, go find another job. You have a skill that is very much necessary and sought after, and if you're worth your salt, you can find a job anywhere you go.
4. I understand everyone has their bad days. Maybe those are the days you need to call in "sick", because you cause more damage to this particular kind of business coming in all pissy than if you just stayed at home and rode out the storm for the day. Your clients will appreciate you staying home that day. As will everyone who has to be around you.
Okay, that's my rant for the day. I will not be going back to this particular chain for another haircut. (I had to fix the mistakes she made on Mag's hair myself - I wasn't about to take her back and ask that mad woman to fix her mistakes.)
There is a lot to be said to finding the "one" - the one hairdresser who knows you, who knows how to cut & style your hair the way you like it, and the hairdresser who makes you feel special when you sit in her chair. I have a treasure in Ticia. I've been going to her since 1993 - and I imagine I'll be going to her til the end of time. :)
Ticia, if you're reading this: THANK YOU for always being so awesome, for making me feel like someone special when I sit in your chair, and for making me feel like you truly value not only my business, but me in general. I know better than to "cheat" on you with other hairdressers. (LOL) I won't do it anymore!!
Love & Light,
Julie
Well, I start my new job today, and I knew I was in DESPERATE need of a haircut, and finances just did not permit the two and a half hour trek to Andalusia to see Ticia last Friday. So, I sucked it up and Mags & I went to this salon (a term I use loosely) by WalMart. If I'm going to risk a bad haircut, I don't want to pay a lot for it, ya know?
Anyway, we go in, they greet us (so far, so good), and have us sign in. We had barely gotten sat down when Maggie was called. The lady who called us was probably close to my age, fairly decent looking, but boy did she have a chip on her shoulder. She was obviously angry about something, and didn't do a very good job of hiding her feelings. Well, folks, I don't know about you, but I can't help but be a little nervous around a pissed off stranger with a pair of scissors in her hand. You know you're probably going to get a really shitty haircut from someone who really couldn't care less whether you know she's having a really bad day or not.
So, I did all I could to put her at ease. If you know me, I am a "people pleaser" kind of person, and I smile (even if I'm mad as hell), and I'll do all I can to keep those around me happy and comfortable. Maggie is trying to talk to her - and most people are engaged by Mag pretty quickly, but not this sour puss. She wasn't having any of it. She was sarcastic sounding in her answers to Maggie, very impatient acting, and just generally did NOT want to be there doing what she was doing.
Here is where I'm going with this story. If you happen to be one of these people who work at one of these types of establishments, PLEASE take some friendly advice.
1. If you don't want to be there, find another salon in which to work. It's not the clients fault that you're unhappy working there. Don't take your frustration out on them.
2. Smile and engage your client. Especially your women clients. We go to the beauty shop to make ourselves feel better. And it is your job to make us feel like we're beautiful (even if we look like crap). That's what we're paying you for. That is the profession YOU chose, so do it and keep the personal crap away from the salon.
3. I understand that it is hard as hell to work with a bunch of women - everyone's moody at one time or another, feelings get hurt, things get said - it's just not a pleasant prospect most of the time, I'm sure. Here again, if you don't like your co-workers, go find another job. You have a skill that is very much necessary and sought after, and if you're worth your salt, you can find a job anywhere you go.
4. I understand everyone has their bad days. Maybe those are the days you need to call in "sick", because you cause more damage to this particular kind of business coming in all pissy than if you just stayed at home and rode out the storm for the day. Your clients will appreciate you staying home that day. As will everyone who has to be around you.
Okay, that's my rant for the day. I will not be going back to this particular chain for another haircut. (I had to fix the mistakes she made on Mag's hair myself - I wasn't about to take her back and ask that mad woman to fix her mistakes.)
There is a lot to be said to finding the "one" - the one hairdresser who knows you, who knows how to cut & style your hair the way you like it, and the hairdresser who makes you feel special when you sit in her chair. I have a treasure in Ticia. I've been going to her since 1993 - and I imagine I'll be going to her til the end of time. :)
Ticia, if you're reading this: THANK YOU for always being so awesome, for making me feel like someone special when I sit in your chair, and for making me feel like you truly value not only my business, but me in general. I know better than to "cheat" on you with other hairdressers. (LOL) I won't do it anymore!!
Love & Light,
Julie
Thursday, March 13, 2008
The Law of the Garbage Truck
How often do you let other people's nonsense change your mood? Do you let a bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive employee ruin your day? The mark of a successful person is how quickly she can get back her focus on what's important.
Sixteen years ago I learned this lesson. I learned it in the back of a New York City taxi cab. Here's what happened. I hopped in a taxi, and we took off for Grand Central Station. We were driving in the right lane when, all of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car's back end by just inches! The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started yelling bad words at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was friendly. So, I said, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!" And this is when my taxi driver told me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck."
"Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it. And if you let them, they'll dump it on you. When someone wants to dump on you, don't take it personally. You just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. You'll be happy you did.So this was it: The "Law of the Garbage Truck."
I started thinking, how often do I let Garbage Trucks run right over me? And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people: at work, at home, on the streets? It was that day I said, "I'm not going to do it anymore." I began to see garbage trucks. Like in the movie "The Sixth Sense," the little boy said, "I see Dead People." Well, now "I see Garbage Trucks." I see the load they're carrying. I see them coming to drop it off. And like my Taxi Driver, I don't make it a personal thing; I just smile, wave, wish them well, and I move on.
One of my favorite football players of all time, Walter Payton, did this every day on the football field. He would jump up as quickly as he hit the ground after being tackled. He never dwelled on a hit. Payton was ready to make the next play his best. Good leaders know they have to be ready for their next meeting. Good parents know that they have to welcome their children home from school with hugs and kisses. Leaders and parents know that they have to be fully present, and at their best for the people they care about.
The bottom line is that successful people do not let Garbage Trucks take over their day.
What about you? What would happen in your life, starting today, if you let more garbage trucks pass you by? Here's my bet. You'll be happier. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so... Love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don't. Believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, TAKE IT! If it changes your life, LET IT! Nobody said it would be easy... They just promised it would be worth it!
Sixteen years ago I learned this lesson. I learned it in the back of a New York City taxi cab. Here's what happened. I hopped in a taxi, and we took off for Grand Central Station. We were driving in the right lane when, all of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car's back end by just inches! The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started yelling bad words at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was friendly. So, I said, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!" And this is when my taxi driver told me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck."
"Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it. And if you let them, they'll dump it on you. When someone wants to dump on you, don't take it personally. You just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. You'll be happy you did.So this was it: The "Law of the Garbage Truck."
I started thinking, how often do I let Garbage Trucks run right over me? And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people: at work, at home, on the streets? It was that day I said, "I'm not going to do it anymore." I began to see garbage trucks. Like in the movie "The Sixth Sense," the little boy said, "I see Dead People." Well, now "I see Garbage Trucks." I see the load they're carrying. I see them coming to drop it off. And like my Taxi Driver, I don't make it a personal thing; I just smile, wave, wish them well, and I move on.
One of my favorite football players of all time, Walter Payton, did this every day on the football field. He would jump up as quickly as he hit the ground after being tackled. He never dwelled on a hit. Payton was ready to make the next play his best. Good leaders know they have to be ready for their next meeting. Good parents know that they have to welcome their children home from school with hugs and kisses. Leaders and parents know that they have to be fully present, and at their best for the people they care about.
The bottom line is that successful people do not let Garbage Trucks take over their day.
What about you? What would happen in your life, starting today, if you let more garbage trucks pass you by? Here's my bet. You'll be happier. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so... Love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don't. Believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, TAKE IT! If it changes your life, LET IT! Nobody said it would be easy... They just promised it would be worth it!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
My First Blog in Ages
Hello Everyone - This is my first blog on this site and my first blog in AGES. I got a little carried away with my old blog, and made it my place to unload all the crap in my head. Well, I'm going to do my best to make sure this doesn't become that.
I am working on getting myself healthy this year. I have finally given up cigarettes. I've been "clean" since January 18, 2008, and I feel SO much better just from doing that. Now I've got to work on dropping a 1/2 a ton of excess weight. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with, I do believe. But I am taking a proactive stance in the matter this time and doing my best to focus more on getting healthy rather than the numbers on my scale. I have been a slave to those numbers for YEARS, and I'm just done with that. When my clothes start fitting again, then I'll know I have reached my goal. And then I'll move on to the next goal.
You can tell Spring is fast approaching here in Northwest Florida. There is a fine sheen of yellow pollen dusting EVERYTHING outside. We're all fighting the sneezies around here, but this too shall pass - when the pollen does.
Mag is getting ready to be done with 2nd grade. My goodness, how time has flown. She'll be 8 on the 28th of this month. Seems just yesterday, she was a tiny little squalling ball of fury, and now, well, she makes me feel inadequate intellectually sometimes. She's a smart little turkey. But she's still Mama's sweetheart. How I ended up with a child as compassionate as she is, I'll never know.
We were watching a show called, "Growing up Wolf" on Discovery yesterday, and when they talked about some of the adult wolves killing some of the pups, she freaked out. She said, "Mom, I just don't understand... how can that be? How can a mom kill her own child?" And there were these huge tears rolling down her cheeks. This fact of nature truly bothered her.
I did my best to explain that sometimes the babies are sickly and the parents eat the babies because of a variety of possible birth defects, and then went on to tell her about how "only the strong survive in the wild", and well.... let's just say that my explanation was totally inadequate to her way of thinking, and she thought that was the most horrific thing for an animal parent to do to its' own babies.
Do you ever wonder what your impact is on your child(ren)? I can only hope I'm instilling some good things in Mags. I hope she learns honesty from me, and to be forthright, and to be kind. I hope she gets her dad's hard work ethics, his friendliness, and his long legs. And I hope all the good things our parents taught us will spill over to her. I want only the best for her.
Okay, I'm signing off for now. Don't know how often I'll do this. I'm not as "profound" or talented as my friend Jiggy-E or my brother-in-law, L-Quad. They are masters at this blogging stuff. And they're both really interesting folks. Me, I'm just plain ol' Julie. I don't ride roller coasters, I like real butter, and I HATE exercise. That pretty much sums me up. But, anyway, welcome to my blogspot.
I look forward to seeing what this develops into.
Blessed be!
Sis-In-Law
I am working on getting myself healthy this year. I have finally given up cigarettes. I've been "clean" since January 18, 2008, and I feel SO much better just from doing that. Now I've got to work on dropping a 1/2 a ton of excess weight. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with, I do believe. But I am taking a proactive stance in the matter this time and doing my best to focus more on getting healthy rather than the numbers on my scale. I have been a slave to those numbers for YEARS, and I'm just done with that. When my clothes start fitting again, then I'll know I have reached my goal. And then I'll move on to the next goal.
You can tell Spring is fast approaching here in Northwest Florida. There is a fine sheen of yellow pollen dusting EVERYTHING outside. We're all fighting the sneezies around here, but this too shall pass - when the pollen does.
Mag is getting ready to be done with 2nd grade. My goodness, how time has flown. She'll be 8 on the 28th of this month. Seems just yesterday, she was a tiny little squalling ball of fury, and now, well, she makes me feel inadequate intellectually sometimes. She's a smart little turkey. But she's still Mama's sweetheart. How I ended up with a child as compassionate as she is, I'll never know.
We were watching a show called, "Growing up Wolf" on Discovery yesterday, and when they talked about some of the adult wolves killing some of the pups, she freaked out. She said, "Mom, I just don't understand... how can that be? How can a mom kill her own child?" And there were these huge tears rolling down her cheeks. This fact of nature truly bothered her.
I did my best to explain that sometimes the babies are sickly and the parents eat the babies because of a variety of possible birth defects, and then went on to tell her about how "only the strong survive in the wild", and well.... let's just say that my explanation was totally inadequate to her way of thinking, and she thought that was the most horrific thing for an animal parent to do to its' own babies.
Do you ever wonder what your impact is on your child(ren)? I can only hope I'm instilling some good things in Mags. I hope she learns honesty from me, and to be forthright, and to be kind. I hope she gets her dad's hard work ethics, his friendliness, and his long legs. And I hope all the good things our parents taught us will spill over to her. I want only the best for her.
Okay, I'm signing off for now. Don't know how often I'll do this. I'm not as "profound" or talented as my friend Jiggy-E or my brother-in-law, L-Quad. They are masters at this blogging stuff. And they're both really interesting folks. Me, I'm just plain ol' Julie. I don't ride roller coasters, I like real butter, and I HATE exercise. That pretty much sums me up. But, anyway, welcome to my blogspot.
I look forward to seeing what this develops into.
Blessed be!
Sis-In-Law
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