A Waste of Life

As my friends know, I work at a funeral home as an administrative assistant. (No, I don't have anything to do with the bodies - just their paperwork & memorial packages.) Anyway, we had a funeral that pretty much wrecked me yesterday.

Two nights after her high school graduation, a 16 year old girl took her own life because her boyfriend broke up with her. What made it even worse is that, at 16, she left behind a 2 year old daughter. There is something seriously wrong with this picture beyond the fact that a child is dead.

Let me address a number of things this whole tragedy has brought to my mind:

1.) HOW can a parent allow a 14 year old girl to hang out with boys years older than her? The alleged father is 20 years old, and allegedly molested this girl and got her pregnant during the incident. I don't understand. My child is 8, and I won't let her hang out with ANYONE without either me or her daddy nearby. I know, I know, it should be different when they're teenagers, but that's when they need the most guidance. That is NOT the time to slack up on being watchful. I'm afraid my daughter will probably be smothered because of my lack of trust in other people. But I'd rather be over-protective than not give a shit about her.

2.) HOW could this child's mother have allowed her to keep this baby when they already lived in squalor and the girl's mom (baby's grandma) doesn't care about the daughter she has, much less a new infant grandchild. If there are ANY teen mothers or pregnant teens out there reading this, PLEASE think long & hard about adoption. There are so many people who can't have babies who would be able to provide a loving, stable & safe home for your baby. Don't worry about stigmas attached to giving your baby away. If you know you cannot provide adequate housing, care, food, clothing, etc., for a child, you shouldn't (first of all) be having one, and secondly, trying to keep it. That sweet little baby deserves so much more than that.

3.) Here's a biggie for me for you teen girls: DO NOT BELIEVE ANYTHING a boy tells you about love & marriage & stuff. They are ONLY saying that to get the booty. Keep your self-respect intact and don't give in to their pleadings. They'll survive if you don't give it up. They'll just move on to some ol' sleaze who WILL give it up - thereby proving to YOU that they never really cared for you in the first place. (Been there, done that.)

4.) TEENAGE BOYS: Don't be playing these girls like that. You have no clue what your headgames can do to a girl. We all just want to be loved, and being of the female nature, we're just naturally wired that way. Look at what happened to this girl I'm writing about - some idiot boy told her everything a girl like her felt she needed/wanted to hear - then when he got what he wanted, walked away and didn't look back. And she was obviously devastated. WHAT in the hell gives ANYONE the right to jack with someone's head like that? I believe there is a special place in hell for people (boys/girls/men/women) who do that to other people. And I'm a firm believer that EVERYTHING you send out into the world will come back to you 3-fold, so be very, very careful of what you put out there.


I was making sure the Memorial Book in the chapel had everything in it before the service started, and as I turned around the walk out of the chapel, the girl's mother, grandmother, & 2 year old daughter walked in. I spoke to the little girl and brushed her hair out of her face with my hand, and she started craning her neck and standing up on her tip-toes to try to see into her mama's casket. I just lost it. I got out of there as quickly as I could - fighting tears the whole way. I got to my office, started fanning my face, telling myself, "It's okay, it's okay..." But ya know what? It's NOT okay. It's not okay that this BEAUTIFUL little 16 year old CHILD/MOTHER died because of the STUPIDITY of some jerk-off little pencil-dick bastard. And she was just ignorant to think it would make any difference in the world to him that she had died because of her "love" for him. He couldn't care less. WAKE UP GIRLS!!

I have VERY hard feelings towards this young lady's mother as well. WHY wasn't she parenting her child? She didn't act like she even cared that her daughter was dead or that she had left a toddler behind - and it was obvious she wasn't thrilled with the idea of raising this toddler. What possible future can this beautiful baby girl have? She didn't have a snowball's chance in hell from the moment of her conception.

And one final word: Girls, take it from someone who's BEEN in your shoes. Boys are a dime a dozen - if one breaks your heart, another one will be along shortly. Don't waste tears on someone who couldn't possibly care less about your feelings, your thoughts, or your needs. All he cares about is gettin' some & moving on to the next girl he can con into giving it up. It's all one big game to some of them - and it's YOUR life & your head he's screwing with. Be careful who you share your body, heart & soul with. Not all are worthy - very few (if any, actually), in your lifetime will truly be worthy. You get exactly what you allow into your life - be it love or whatever. And don't confuse "chemistry" with love. You'll learn the difference in the two eventually, but in the meantime, be vigilant & guard yourself against the "beasts who hunt." Those are the ones who aren't worth your time, your love, or your tears - and especially, not your dying for.

Blessed be my friends. Sorry this got so serious, but this really got to me and I had to "unleash the beast." :P

Love ya,
Jules